Iâ€™ve always tried to live my life in a way that would be considered "living above reproach." I learned at a young age what this meant and it became my way of doing things. I never wanted people to question how I was living my life; I wanted what they were seeing to truly be who I was. As I have grown up I have been placed in some pretty incredible and unique situations that I have realized have made people wonder, who I am. I would even get caught up in worrying so much about what other people were thinking or how my actions may be perceived, that I was beginning to miss the joy in just living life.
Recently, my parents, stopped me and told me, â€œTenley, you are 26 years old, you have lived a very honest life, and you have experienced some unique things, and have experienced some really hard life trialsâ€¦ donâ€™t worry so much of what others are thinking of you; enjoy your life.â€ I needed to hear this, I had started living in such a way that I was getting caught up in how my life looked to others, and always being above "their' reproach. This is important, but I am only human, and I shouldnâ€™t be so worried what others are thinking of me or how I might disappoint someone. Like I said, Iâ€™m only human, Iâ€™m bound to disappoint people along the way, thereâ€™s no way I can please everyone, and I shouldnâ€™t act like itâ€™s possible.
Over the last couple of years, Iâ€™ve really been learning how to live, and I want to live in a way that is honorable, but also spontaneous and free! This doesnâ€™t mean I shouldnâ€™t be responsible for my actions, but I shouldnâ€™t worry so much what others may think. This itself is a very free way to live! I believe this is how Iâ€™m supposed to live my life. Iâ€™m not saying that Iâ€™ve been making horrible decisions, but I was holding myself back from opportunities or life experiences as I was too wrapped up in being concerned that I was going to disappoint someone.
Now, on the other hand, it is extremely important to me that I still do, "the right thing" - not according to other people and their personal standards - but according to the way I have chosen to live my life. For me, itâ€™s all about who I'm living it for, and that's not for me, or for anyone else but God. I don't want to do anything that would be detrimental to building my relationship with Him. However, I don't always get it right. Thank goodness for grace.
On that note, I hope that people will keep in mind that things aren't always as they appear. My wish is that people will know me for me, and not someone edited on a television show. I have been so blessed with people believing in me, supporting me, and knowing where my heart is.
â€œItâ€™s by grace and love Iâ€™m saved. Itâ€™s by grace and love you have forgiven me. And by the love and grace Iâ€™m amazed, and itâ€™s by grace and love I am freeâ€¦â€ - Kutless
Speak Love, Act Love, Live Love.
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