Six Months ago Taylor and I officially started our best adventure yet, as we said “I do.” Six months later from that very best day of our lives, I’m even more in love with him. And I LOVE that. It’s definitely a different kind of love. Don’t get me wrong, I still feel those mushy gushy “in love” feelings, but things really do change the day you get married, and enter into that forever covenant with one another. My love for Taylor became so real, raw, and deep, beyond what I could have imagined, and I can only imagine that it will continue to grow into something deeper and greater with all the wear and tear we will go through in our lifetime together! I’m excited for that. I’m understanding even more of how God loves us, without conditions, sure, some disappointment, but with so much grace, and with a GREAT GREAT love.
Being that this has been our greatest adventure yet, I wanted to share something that we had learned or experienced in these first few precious months of marriage. We were chatting about what we learned, what we’ve experienced, what the surprises have been, but really it came down to What Changed the Day We Got Married. And we wanted to share. All marriages are different, as all relationships are. We are not perfect, and definitely don’t call ourselves experts, so sharing what changed the day we got married felt appropriate.
And my single friends, I’m always thinking of you. I’m praying that as you read this, if you read this, that this could be of some inspiration to you as you wait for the one that God has for you.
Six Things that Changed the Day We Got Married:
1) Priorities. Life has become a bit more sacrificial to one another. I feel that we practiced priorities and making choices that were the best for each other as we dated, so this wasn’t too new to us. But we’ve definitely made some additions to help keep one another and our marriage first. And I think we’re doing our best job to make sure we nourish our marriage by how we prioritize things now. Example, on Wednesday mornings, we reserve the time before work for one another to do a book/devotion together called, Navigator’s Council. (I’m linking it HERE for anyone who may be curious.) This is our check-in point, our time to talk about our schedules, communicate and plan things out for the week. We also share our joys, hardships, and our needs. I love this time in our week, and I love that it is a priority over all the other many things we could easily start our Wednesdays with. We end that time praying together, which is a great way to start a day!
Another priority we have chosen to follow through with to nourish our marriage, and our friendship is Date Nights. Now that we’re married and living together, we revolve around one another so much more than we ever did. So it’s not the lack of time together, but the lack of prioritizing play time with one another. Often times we’re sharing our time with others, or mentally checking out and watching tv, talking serious things about life, doing chores, etc. But we wouldn’t have our relationship without the foundation of a friendship, so it’s so important to play together, and nourish that part of our marriage!!! We don’t have kids yet, but my hope is that because Date Nights are already a priority, this will be a healthy standard we have already set for our marriage, before we add little ones into the picture! We try to do date nights, just the two of us once a week. This could be dinner & drinks, playing golf (he plays, I drive the cart and keep his score, but I LOVE it), cooking dinner together and turning on a vinyl to listen to and opening up a bottle of wine!
2) Going to Bed Together. This is such a great part of our marriage, and new as of the day we got married and moved in with one another. We love ending our days at the same time, and turning the lights out together. This is such a sacred and intimate place, and we both love that this is a new part to our lives. I will add that something that is also different in this category is sharing blankets with someone… there have been multiple “friendly” wars over the bedding. These wars always result in laughter, but man… Taylor can be a blanket hog as he “burritos” himself up in the sheets! But in his defense, as I should be fair since I didn’t invite him to write this with me… he say’s I’M the blanket hog. Haha.
3) Having a Best Friend at All Times. I’m grateful to have married a man that can be my best friend. There was once a time in my life that I thought the saying, “I’m marrying my best friend” was silly. But now I get it. And now I see what a true gift it is. Marriage can absolutely be run as a business, that would be easy… but that could become lonely or hurtful. During my single years, there were days that seemed agonizing and so painful with loneliness and longing to meet my match. Because of that, I actually considered entering into relationships with men I knew weren’t the best for me. That wasn’t a healthy mindset, and thankfully I got to a place of surrender to being joyful in waiting for what God had in store for me. But all this to say, I’m so grateful that I did wait, because the day I met Taylor I knew he wouldn’t just be playing the role of a partner, he’d be my friend, my best friend. I love telling him things I’d be afraid to tell anyone else in fear of their judgement over me. I love that I can be completely me, and every bit of the dork that I am. I love that we can laugh until we cry. Or just hang out and say nothing but absolutely enjoy one another’s company. I love our adventures together. And I truly love that he makes himself available to me, because he wants to be there for me. I am telling this from my point of view, but we did discuss this together, and I think he would return his sentiments on our friendship, and perhaps even say it differently. But I’m so glad I married my best friend.
P.S. I do believe that another healthy part of our relationship is that we still maintain our friendships with our other besties!
4) You Know EVERYTHING!! It’s a part of that best friend, living with each other, and sharing everything kind of situation. It’s awesome! But there is just one part of knowing everything that is one of those funny parts of marriage for us. I have always tried to be discreet and “lady like” with certain things, like… I’m just gonna say it, the restroom. I’m actually not shy about this topic with my nutrition clients, or my female besties, but for some reason have always wanted for Taylor to think I was a Unicorn! You know, just passing rainbow fluff! But once we were married and started living together there were no secrets! There is still lots of privacy, but this one has been a change that has taken me personally some time to overcome. We do however enjoy the laughter over this!
5) Our Thoughts. Our thoughts have definitely changed as we think forward to our future together. I feel like we’re “adulting” even more than we ever had. The two of us are staying busy having a lot of fun, going on last minute adventures, and even calling this first year of our marriage, our “Yes Year.” But there are also a lot of big decisions to be made. We are now entering into the home buying phase of life, and my goodness, it’s work. It consumes a lot of our thoughts. Then there’s the financial and budgeting conversations. Before we were married, we would communicate and talk about our individual financial situations, but those were our individual responsibilities, now it’s about us together, and our future plans and investments to be made! We also think of creating a family someday. We’re not planning to start this journey quite yet, but the thought has become even more of a reality now that we’re married. There’s a lot of dreaming together— and I think we dreamed together when we were dating, but the day we got married, and our hearts were truly intertwined, there is a security in dreaming together now!
6) Sharing the Load. When I was single, prior to meeting Taylor, one of my greatest longings for meeting my partner was to have someone that I could share life with, and to share life’s burdens with. I know that this is what many in the single season are longing for and praying for. So friends out there in this season, I absolutely encourage you to wait for someone that can help share the load in life. It’s such a gift to share all aspects of life with your person. I praise God that Taylor is this kind of man that wants to hear my burdens, pray for them, pray with me, and help carry me through life. And then there’s also the daily household responsibilities and such that is nice to share the load as well. I actually wrote about this topic in my post about the hardest part of our marriage, you can read that HERE. From the day of our marriage we have consisered each other that "one significant other" who is assigned to look out for each other. You can really feel the lack of this in singlehood. Recently, I was sick, and Taylor checked on me throughout the day. It's noone else's job to do this. It's my job to know how he is and how I can be "his person."Sharing the Load comes down to partnership. I have a partner for life to go through the highs and lows with, to celebrate the joys, and cry with through the broken moments. When I think about our vows, I think this is what it comes down to.
Life has definitely changed, but for the better! Again, no marriage or relationship is the same, and no need to compare anything that I shared about our marriage to your own. My encouragement is to always find the blessings, communicate, and celebrate life together! Thank you for letting us share these Six Things that have changed since the day we got married!
What are some of the changes you experienced entering into marriage? Or if you’re not married yet, what changes are you looking forward to once you enter into marriage someday?! As always, as much as I love sharing, I love learning from you and getting to know you all that much better, so leave a comment below!